Holiday Blues

The holiday period is a time of year that evokes the spirit of celebration and joy. With tinsel at every turn and plans to gather with glee, this season is often presented as a moment to finally put our pens down and celebrate with our loved ones. Or so we’re told.

The unspoken (and unadvertised) reality, however, is that for many individuals and families, the holiday period can be emotionally complex. For some, it involves navigating anxiety, loneliness, grief, conflict, or uncertainty for a range of reasons. Below, we outline some of the most common holiday challenges and tips to manage them.

Grief and loss

If you are grieving the loss of a significant person in your life, the holiday period can magnify the emotional waves that accompany bereavement. Many people find this time of year brings a sharper experience of grief, intensifying feelings of longing and sadness. 

Tips to navigate grief and loss during the holiday period:

Firstly, acknowledge that grief is a normal, healthy response to losing someone you care about. You may move through a range of emotions that make up grief including sadness, yearning, anger, numbness, and even moments of warmth as you remember cherished experiences. No emotion in grief is ‘wrong’.

Secondly, find intentional ways to honour the person who has died. This might include sharing stories, watching their favourite movie, lighting a candle, having a toast, or integrating one of their traditions into your day. These rituals help maintain a symbolic connection and bond with the person who has died, offering comfort and meaning during the holiday period. 

Relationship difficulty

The truth is that many people navigate challenging relationship dynamics during the holidays. Strain within families or partnerships can surface in various ways through conflict, differences in values, navigating complex histories, or the pressure to engage in environments that feel emotionally unsafe or taxing.

Tips to navigate complex relationships during the holidays: 

Choosing to distance yourself from difficult dynamics can be complex, especially when feeling pressure to engage with others in spaces of gathering. Remember that it is okay to acknowledge your discomfort and make decisions that protect your emotional wellbeing. This might look like limiting time spent in certain situations, taking breaks during gatherings, expressing your needs openly, or declining invitations that feel overwhelming. Setting boundaries are not acts of defiance, but rather a line in the sand of what is acceptable and what is not. It’s okay to prioritise your wellbeing, and boundaries create a safe distance for this to happen.

Loneliness and disconnection

Despite the cultural narrative of togetherness, loneliness is incredibly common during the holiday period. For some, physical disconnection plays a huge role, for instance, living away from loved ones, changes in family structure, working during the holiday period, or limited access to you ‘chosen family’. We can even feel lonely when surrounded by others where we don’t feel truly seen, understood, or connected.

Tips to navigate loneliness and disconnection:

Feelings of loneliness during the holidays are often a response to being disconnected from people and familiar environments, or not having access to regular supports. It can be helpful to intentionally plan moments of connection, even in small ways: reaching out to a friend, joining community events, practice mindfulness, and plan to see people in advance.

Moving through the holidays with compassion

However you find yourself this season, whether you’re grieving, overwhelmed, disconnected, or somewhere in between, your experience is valid. The holiday period does not need to be perfect, or resemble what we see in media. Remember, there are many people navigating difficult times and it’s not isolated to you individually. 

If you are finding this time of year particularly challenging and feel you may need additional support, there are a number of services that can help that are available for you to connect with:

Grief line: https://griefline.org.au/

Beyond Blue: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/

Lifeline: https://www.lifeline.org.au/